Do the bridesmaids pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party?
Sunday, February 28th, 2010 at
9:25 pm
I am going broke being in my sisters wedding trying to plan the bridal shower, paying for my dress and a bachelorette party! is it normal for the bridesmaids to split the cost of everything?
mom is pitching in 150 and me 100 and the others 40 or so, i just didn’t know it was this expensive to be a bridesmaid….lol…
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God, a shower??? I didn’t even think of that. Between the dress and all that goes with it, I’m already in the red after accepting the honor of bridesmaid. I don’t think I could afford to chip in to the shower if I wanted to.
yes
yep, that’s the norm. see if you mom will pitch in and help you out.
We went to the spa for my party, and my bridesmaids only paid for themselves, they didn’t pay for me "the bride". We also did a weekend in Charleston and they didn’t pay for me either…….I guess I got jipped.
Yiup! now for the shower it’s usually the bridal party and the bride’s family that get together. But you don’t have to spend a lot. Have it at someone’s house, go to the grocery store and buy some fruits and veggies and that’s all you really need.
It is normal but pay what you can afford to pay. If you can’t afford what they are planning just tell the other bridesmaids you just can’t afford their plans and offer to pay what you can.
You could have people bring food to the party so you don’t have to pay as much there. I’m sure the people attending wouldn’t mind bringing in some chips, veggies or a beverage.
no, who ever is giving the shower should pay for it, and i think it would be fair if all the bridesmaids helped pay for the bachelorette party, why should you do be doing everything, there must be a best friend who can help with thee shower,
Your only obligation as a bridesmaid is to show up nicely dressed on the day of the wedding and be kind and charming to everyone. Nowadays, showing up "nicely dressed" means in the dress, shoes and hairdo the bride has asked for and which you have paid for — but it doesn’t extend to going to her hairdresser or using her makeup artist.
Now, there are other things that you might LIKE to do, since the bride is one of your nearest and dearest friends (or was, until she started making thoughtless claims on your bank account). You probably WANT to go shopping for dresses and help with wedding favours and taste cakes — because we females like shopping with our dearest friends. But that’s not an obligation, it’s a choice.
You probably WANT to help out with a party of some sort for her. If you cannot afford to host a party, you can go to two or three friends and say "I’d like to host a shower for Cissy, but I can’t afford to do it alone: would you like to co-host one with me?" They then have the choice of saying yes or no, and if one of them asks you to co-host a shower, you get to say yes or no. Same thing if someone has big plans for a bachelorette party.
Now, often when girls are doing something together, they’ll say "let’s all go to the bar on Friday night before the wedding" and someone will add "let’s split Cissy’s bar bill for her so she doesn’t have to pay", and then you get to decide whether or not to go along. You’re entitled to decline. If you’re worrying about what you’ll have to eat for the rest of the month, then decline: that’s more gracious than going along but not being able to be care-free.
Yes and No. Within the past few years, I’m finding it more and more common for the mother of the bride or groom to host the shower. I think the reason is because it can be a financial burden to the bridal party or to someone who’s not a direct relative of the bride.
As for the dress, that’s your responsibility. The bacherolette is more of a collaboration. But, it doesn’t have to be that expensive. Most bacherolette parties I’ve attended have been a bridesmaid’s home. It’s most BYOB for everyone, expect the bride. The bridesmaid will each make 1 or 2 appetizers or desserts for the guests. Then, there is usually an assortment of party games.
So, what to do? Have you talked to your mother about maybe helping you host the shower in your sister’s honor? Maybe mom can pick up the bill for the more expensive items like the food and you and the bridal party can split the cost of the decorations and favors? That might offset the cost, big time!
Really it’s whoever hosts the parties that pay for them. The bridesmaids to not have to be the ones to host them. My MOH and my bridesmaid were only 16 at the time of my wedding (my sister and sister-in-law) so they really weren’t old enough/didn’t have any money to host my parties. My aunts hosted my shower and a few of my friends hosted my bachelorette party.
If you and the other bridesmaids have decided to host the shower and the bachelorette party, then yes it’s expected that you will split the cost. However, you do not need to do anything lavish for either one.