How can I word the wedding invitations?

3 Comments

1. aspasia says:

   February 25, 2010 at 4:54 pm

   I am sorry to hear of your loss. Your father would have loved to see you married. But, many people in your situation do indeed issue invitations, so there is a well-established proper form to follow.

   An invitation has to serve a functional purpose, which is to tell people: What is happening
   Who is hosting it
   Whom they are inviting
   When to be there
   Where it is

   Assuming that your mother is the social hostess for your reception (regardless of who is paying the bills, the hostess is the person taking social responsibility for the well-being and comfort of all the guests) then the form would be

   Mrs John Bells
   requests the pleasure of the company of
   <write-in guests’ names here>
   at the wedding of her daughter
   Mary Sue
   to
   Mr Handsome Guy
   son of Mr Thomas and Mrs Jane Guy
   on <date> at <time> o’clock
   at <location>

   This assumes, of course, that your mother is a very-old-fashioned lady who used her husband’s first name for her social signature. A widow may continue to use her husband’s name unless she remarries. In this way, she honours your father in your invitation without committing the serious error of suggesting that the invitation is being issued by a deceased person. If your mother never used the "Mr and Mrs John Bells" form of her name and went by "Mrs Katherine Bells" then you can word the invitation as

   Mrs Katherine Bells
   requests the pleasure of the company of
   <write-in guests’ names here>
   at the wedding of her daughter
   Mary Sue
   daughter of the late Mr John Bells
   to
   Mr Handsome Guy
   son of Mr Thomas and Mrs Jane Guy
   on <date> at <time> o’clock
   at <location>

   If your mother is not hosting the wedding, and you are hosting it yourself but hoping to assume also the role of guest of honour, you disguise that unpleasant social reality by using the passive form:

   The pleasure of the company of
   <write-in guests’ names here>
   is requested at the wedding of
   Mary Sue
   daughter of Mrs Katherine Bells and the late Mr John Bells
   to
   Mr Handsome Guy
   son of Mr Thomas and Mrs Jane Guy
   on <date> at <time> o’clock
   at <location>

   Any guest accustomed to the niceties of the host-guest relationship will recognize that this form essentially declares that relationship will be absent at this event. Coming as I do from a culture that considers hospitality a sacred trust, I find myself non-plussed at the thought. But, it does reflect the reality of many modern weddings and is better than the pseudo-formal forms that outright misrepresent the facts.

   You can also always use the simpler form "the pleasure of *your* company", and omit the write-in line, but then you must use inner envelopes to clarify who is to come.
2. Pax says:

   February 25, 2010 at 4:54 pm

   You could go with:

   Mrs. Jane Doe and the late John Doe
   &
   Mr. & Mrs. Mark Smith

   cordially invite you to …..etc…..
3. Kelly P says:

   February 25, 2010 at 4:54 pm

   We had an issue with this one, too- divorced & remarried people with hurt feelings, and everyone was chipping in a bit of$$, but we paid for much of it, so we went with "Together with our families, we (our full names) invite you to celebrate…" It is a bit more casual, BUT we did get married in the woods at an unconventional service, followed by a very "us" party- make it you own, and the person at the invite store was incredibly helpful- remember, they do this all day, every day. Ask them for suggestions!
   Good Luck- and congrats!!