Since it's "her day" should I agree to dress like a slut?
I was asked several weeks ago to be a bridesmaid in a friend’s simple beach wedding this summer. After accepting the invitation everything changed including location, date, theme, and attire SEVERAL times. With each change I’ve been stressed and helped her plan another wedding from sctratch. I was chastised through text messages for not purchasing my dress yet (the wedding is still 2 months away) by her fiance. She has changed the bridesmaid dress choice at least 4 times in the 6 weeks of planning. When I went to try on the most recent (and supposedly final) dress choice and realized that it was to be a "trashy" themed wedding I was appalled. The dress came only about 2 inches past my butt and was black and strapless with a leather corsette. I wouldn’t leave my bedroom in that. Am I wrong to refuse to dawn this prositute attire in favor of self respect and respect for my husband?
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At this point, I’d tell my "friend" that I need to bow out of participating in her wedding. . .make up any excuse you need to or simply be 100% honest with her. But don’t "help" her any longer. It’s not just the trashy attire she expects you to wear, but all the bridezilla crap she’s put you through. Tell her you wish her well, but you’ve had enough.
Tell her that you feel weird wearing that dress. That you want to have some self respect for you and your husband. Tell her that you understand its her wedding but that its your body.
yes, even though its her day you can refuse it, dont do something that is against your morals or disrespecting you or your husband.
but you do need to let her know you wont wear that and you need to talk to her about it dont just dont be rude.
You have the right to decline to participate in a wedding regardless of the attire. Just let her know as soon as possible, so she can find a replacement.
yes if it is her day than you must do has she say and you must treat her right and bring her flower or Rose’s and you must give her what she needs this be there and this love her because you never know what you got to it gone this be there for each other.
well that certainly promises to be a memorable wedding…
if the attire doesn’t change then you can’t do something you dont feel comfortable with, and its not right for her to make you. an ex of mine had to bow out of a wedding because she had scars on her arms and couldn’t wear the bridesmaid dress and the bride didn’t want her to wear a different cut.
should you decide to participate anyway, out of loyalty to your friend, at least find comfort in the fact that people will be looking at you (for a good reason) rather than her on her wedding day.
good luck
I would defiantly try to talk some sense into her, or opt out of the wedding party if I were you.
A wedding is suppose to be a nice, respectable time. Not a trashy time. I would tell her exactly what you wrote, when you agreed to be party of the wedding party you had very different view of how things were going to go. Now that things have changed, you don’t think you would be comfortable in the party.
In my opinion, being a bridesmaid does not entitle the bride to make everyone her personal slave. She does get to pick the attire, but in my opinion, she should be respectful enough to pick clothing that isn’t going to make her bridesmaids look like trash or make them uncomfortable (at least more than one usually is in an ugly bridesmaid’s dress).
Tell her that the outfit makes you really uncomfortable and see if you can reason with her or reach some sort of compromise. If you can’t, and you really don’t want to or can’t wear the attire, then respectfully tell her that you can no longer be a bridesmaid.
She doesn’t sound like much of a friend anyway.
I would tell the bride that the bride’s maids dress you object to on the grounds it is very slutty and disrespectfull to your husband, you as a married woman, to appear looking like a street walker…
…so under the circumstances rather than compromise his and your feelings in this,and your self-respect,you can not be in the bridal party. She needs to find someone who doesn’t mind looking like a two bit hooker…you do…..and good luck.
I’m all for the bride’s choice in a dress but when it crosses the line of a maid’s personal viewpoint of decency…no. Shame on the bride! And this should not be sugar-coated…the bride is out of line and need to be told in no uncertain terms…..
That’s a tough one you have there. You are definitly not wrong for feeling uncomfortable about your "dress"…..but this goes beyond the cliche tacky bridesmaid’s dress and enters the Realm of bizzarre. When you accepted to be her bridesmaid there is always that invisible contract or mabe tact of sorts that tells you to keep your mouth shut no matter how ugly the bridesmaids dress is…..but when you run the risk of showing your cootch off because you want to catch the boquet, the buck should stop there. Ask the bride if you can make some sort of alteration to it, maybe by replacing the dress with a black pencil skirt instead…..or thick black tights. This looks like one of those weddings that you may just have to grin and bear it and laugh at the pictures later. I wish you all the luck in the world.
When my brother got married, I told my sister in law that if she wanted me to wear a burlap sack, I would.
But this chick is really crossing a line. I don’t think I would wear something that revealing, whether it was leather or a Versacce cocktail dress.
I would tell your friend that you lost your whip and can’t possibly get a new one in time for her Dominatrix Wedding, so you’ll have to bow out.
Since the dresses are inappropriate and you are not comfortable wearing them, put your foot down. Back out of the position if you feel you need to. The wedding will reflect badly on her and most people in attendance will have sympathy for you since you would obviously look uncomfortable being there in a very revealing dress. She doesn’t sound like much of a friend if she has no respect for your comfort and morals.
Well, it is her day, and it really should be her way. However, you should not have to tolerate wearing a dress that you are uncomfortable with. In my oppinion, you shouldn’t tell her to change the choice of dress. But let her know that you would rather come as a guest, instead of a bridesmaid because you aren’t comfortable witht that reavealing of a dress.
what kind of bride would theme her wedding as trashy?! that’s ridiculous! tell her u want to be removed from the wedding party, but would love if you could still attend the wedding, if you actually do. if the theme is trashy, what kind of dress will the bride be wearing?
No you are not wrong. I would tell her that I would be happy to be her bridesmaid and I will wear a dress she chooses within reason.
My standards would be that it would have to have sleeves and come to my knees and that there was no cleavage showing.
This is her wedding but she needs to be respectful of those who are in the wedding party. I would also tell her that when she decides what dress she wants for sure, that you will buy it, but that you will only buy one dress, if she insists on changing her mind after you have your dress, then she needs to buy you a new one.
Get out of this wedding now before it’s too late. This girl sounds crazy.
A skanky dress is the one time a bridesmaid gets to say no. Call your friend and tell her you are too old and too married to dress like a slut, regardless of her theme. What kind of girl wants her bridesmaids dressed sleazy?
Is she having the wedding at a strip club? Seriously, is she? That sounds like something a hooker or a stripper would wear. I would not only bow out, I think I would say something. She’s going to feel awfully funny when everyone is looking at the bridesmaids instead of her. And she’s asking a married woman to wear something like that, showing everything to everyone? Bridezilla…Oh my God. Don’t buy that thing unless you’re planning a special night for the hubby.