What's the purpose of "wedding" favors? Does a bride/groom HAVE to offer favors? What's the etiquette on this?
Wednesday, March 17th, 2010 at
4:56 am
We are paying for our own wedding, and the budget is gonna be tight enough. What’s the etiquette on giving favors? Actually, more importantly in my head, what’s the purpose of them? Are we expected to have wedding favors for everyone that attends the wedding? Or just for the wedding party? I’m a bit confused. THanks!
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they are just meant as thank you’s to your guests. But even still, unless they’re edible, most are left at the table. So are the necessary, no! If you want, you can donate to a charity in leiu of favors. Maybe just put a little sign on each table that’s what you did. Or the trendy thing now is to have a candy buffet with little bags so guests can grab some candy on the way out.
We are on a tight budget too. I got little cheap boxes and put some cute stamps on them and I’m putting jelly beans in them. You can make them pretty cheap. You can actually get the organza bags cheaper and put just plain white jordan almonds or mints in them.
They are a token of thanks, although as mentioned many get left behind. I personally am making a dainty heart shaped cookie for each guest. I’m sure most people won’t even notice if you don’t have a favor
wedding favors are a relatively new phenomena introduced by the wedding industry. (like within the last 15 years).
if you don’t have room in your budget for them or there is something else you’d rather spend your money on then it’s perfectly acceptable to skip the favors.
as to their purpose:
you will be told that it is a souvenier of your wedding for the guests (the favors are for all of the guests. you will already be getting your wedding party gifts, it’s unnecessary to give them favors of their own as well.)
but really the favors are just another way to siphon money off of the happy couple.
Invisigoth is right on the money. The purpose of your reception is to entertain your guests. I would put the money into good food, drinks, music and venue. I think wedding favors grew out of the somewhat older tradition of having napkins and/or matchbooks printed with the couple’s name and wedding date as keepsakes. Not necessary in my mind, nor according to the etiquette books.
Favors are strictly optional, and these days many brides are omitting them for the same reason you’re considering – money.
Etiquette does not speak to wedding favors because etiquette deals with how you interact with others – for instance, not having two weddings so as not to put the officiant at risk of a fraud charge, or not having a cash bar and making guests pay for their own hospitality. Tradition does not speak to wedding favors because they are a relatively recent innovation – tradition means "things done over a long period of time", and usually that means more than 50 years in wedding-speak.
If you choose to have wedding favors, however, you must have enough for everyone. Anything you provide at the reception should be available to everyone at the reception (with the exceptions of special meals for medical reasons or alcohol to minors).
I suspect the purpose of wedding favors is to keep wedding favor manufacturers in business. Brides choose them because they think they’re necessary.
You should give members of the wedding party gifts, but this should be done before the ceremony and not at the reception. They aren’t called favors but "bridesmaid’s gifts" or "groomsmen’s gifts".
Favors are usually for everyone who attends. The problem is that even though they seem kind of lame people expect them. I went to a wedding where there weren’t favors and the other people at my table kept talking about it all night long. It’s something small people do notice.
Hi. Favors are absolutely NOT NEEDED! This "favor idea" was created by the bridal industry as a way to rake in even more money! Also, since many brides feel that they have to have them, they end up purchasing something cheap that either is left at the reception or taken home and promptly thrown away.
I guess the original idea was to "thank the guests" with a little present. But this has turned into a billion dollar a year industry in itself!
If you really, really think you need to do something….just do something very simple. I always recommend a few Hershey Kisses in some tulle tied with a silk ribbon. And, yes, these would need to be at everyone’s spot.
But, again, these are totally OPTIONAL!
Favors are for the guests attending the wedding. They are a small thank you token for attending and a keepsake. They are not mandatory but they are a nice gesture. They are usually just small things. You can buy small circles of tulle really cheap then fill them with M&M’s out of the bulk bins at the grocery. They are sorted by color so you could use your wedding colors. Tie with a ribbon and put one on each place setting. They sell small circle tags you could write thank you on and hook through the ribbon. A lot of people now will say they are stupid but I think it’s a small nice thing to do for all the people who came to support you and brought you gifts.
Wedding favors are meant for all your guests of a way to say "thank you for coming". They can be anything. I went to one wedding where the wedding favor was a tiny tree that you could take home and plant. Just about all of them died and they were pretty expensive. While it was sort of related to the couple (they love camping in the woods and moose) I know the bride put a ton of time it it and spent quite a bit of money on it. Had she spent that money on the food and gone without the trees, I think that would have been better. It was just odd leaving with a little tree and being in college at the time, I had no where to grow it.
My cousin and his wife donated money to two charities instead of giving favors and that was just fine by us.
My husband and I didn’t give favors. We didn’t have a wedding party and we got married at the courthouse. We did have two receptions, one in his home state and one in mine so people wouldn’t have to travel too far. No one seemed bothered that there weren’t any favors. The food was good and we had a great time. Plus, we didn’t have the money for a wedding any other way and had no money for wedding favors. Don’t feel that you have to have them. Even if it’s a little organza bag of candy, many people leave them behind. At our reception we had disposable cameras and small table signs that said they were for people to take and many people even left those behind.