why cant my MOH show that she is happy for me?
Ok my best friend is also my aunt who happens to be a few years older than me. when i had told her that me and my boyfriend where planning on getting married she didnt seem happy at all for me. although she tells me that my bf is the best guy ever for me and he is such a great guy. but she didnt say anything like WOW or Congrats. nothing at all. well like a week later we were having lunch and out of the blue she asked me "so who is going to be ur maid of honor?" even though i was planning on asking her she still could of let me asked her i joked and said a friend of mine she got very upset so i told her im so sure of course u are. (even though i dont think she would make a very good one) she is very busy with school and work. she gets stressed very easy. than when i told her we are looking to buy a house so when we get married we have a place to go to after the wedding. once again she said nothing. about 2 months later she tells me she and her bf got an apartment i was like "my gosh im happy for u" i was kinda hurt cuz she didnt even tell me she was looking for a place. so now that we pretty much have a wedding date in mind i tell her and she tells me nothing! and a few mins later she says oh we are trying for a baby. and im happy for her cuz she had been wanting one for like the last 3 years. and i tell her "dude are u going to be preg for my wedding" and she says "well are u even getting married" wtf!!!!!! its like she cant be happy for me!!! i dont mind her being preg for my wedding but like i said before she gets stressed easy and no this isnt an excuse to push her out of the wedding but i dont want her stressing over wedding stuff that im affraid she cant even handle with out being preg. how do i talk to her about how i feel? i want to have a bachelorette party and i want my MOH to help me with all the things they are suposed to help with. she is like my sis that i never had but she is really pushing my buttons. than everything i tell her about the wedding goes in one ear and out the other like we are planning a beach wedding and i told her that the favors will be lil sandcastles tea candles to go with the sandcastle cake well last week i told her that im buy the favors and i got a good deal on the cake and she was like oh my gosh ur having a beach wedding that sounds pretty! like it was a total shock to her. she was like wat beach? I ALREADY TOLD HER 10000 TIMES!!!!! mean while the other brides maids are helping me soooo much more. what do i do?
Tagged with: 3 years • apartment • best friend • best guy • bf • excuse • google • lunch • maid of honor • out of the blue • preg • script type • text javascript • trying for a baby • wedding stuff • wit
Filed under: Beach Wedding Favors
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Ugh, I’m having a slightly similar problem. Only besides those problems, my MOH wants me to invite her entire family (that my fiance nor I have ever met) so that they can watch her in the wedding. She also won’t help me pick out their dresses or anything. I don’t expect her to be as excited as I am, but when she agreed to help, I do expect a little cooperation.
Good luck. Its not a fun situation.
Omg its so long i cant bother to read it
to me it seems that she is jealous of you because she is older and you are getting married before her & getting your own house & is trying to steal your spotlight by getting pregnant!
she is envious of your happiness i think she wishes it was her
but im sure she loves you lots
just talk to her on why she’s acting like that & if she’s sure she can handle all the things that a MOH is suppose to
Girl i don’t know what to tell cause i have alot of family like that. so props to you for not going off on anyone because i sure have. this girl doesn’t seem to live or let live. just keep doing what your doing make your plans have all the people you can count on help you and keep her as your MOH but dont let her stress you out make the biggest thing she does in your wedding is get her dress and show up at the church. dont let her ruin your wedding. your wedding is only gonna happen once and her being a selfish b*tch she can be anyday. she has the rest of her life for that. dont wanna be mean i know shes your aunt but shes doing it on purpose. i mean getting an apartment is and having a baby is a big thing and shes not including you for a reason. talk to her but if she doesnt wanna change or tell you whats up. then dont deal with it. you be happy. i cut all those people out my life after trying for years and ive never been happier.
Wow this girl sounds like a piece of work. It seems like she is jealous of you, not only for getting married before she does (you say she is a few years older) but it also probably resentment from the past as well. There literally is nothing you can do. You did the right thing by gushing over her good news, but sadly it seems she is too pathetic to be happy for you.
What can you do? Here is where you need to ask yourself a big question. Do you want to ruin the friendship and find someone else to be your maid of honor who can help, or do you just put up with her and do all the work yourself?
Only you can answer that question for yourself.
This is way more common in weddings with brides a MOH’s than you might think.
First of all, ALL BRIDES need to realize no one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you (and possibly your fiance) are. So do what you need to do, get help where you can, and just realize the point of the whole "big day" that it’s to represent the love you have for your mate and share it with family and friends.
Secondly, to ALL BRIDES: MOH isn’t always just the closest person to you. Sometimes that person isn’t going to be your 3rd hand for wedding planning and execution. Just because your close to a girl, doesn’t mean she’s the best for the job. Would you reccommend a lawyer to interview for a Doctor’s job? Might make a good lawyer, and they might be your friend, but it doesn’t mean they are qualified to be a doctor.
Additionally, it does sound like she’s got some slight jealousy issues. It very well may be that she is your aunt and even though you guys are only separated by a few years, she might feel she’s supposed to be going through all of this first. She may not, but isn’t it funny that you announce your engagement and she immediately wants to feel important and can’t wait for you to ask her to be your MOH, so she asked you first? And isn’t it funny that she can’t get excited, but then she wants you to be thrilled her and her BF are looking for an apartment? And you mentioned she’s pretty busy with work and school… it sounds like she’s got her plate full… funny that she’s supposed to be your #1 girl you can count on for your wedding and she’s now trying to get pregnant, therefore making herself that much more busy and unavailable to you… I think she is focused on her life right now and what she wants to do and is trying not to be angry or sad about the things that are happening in your life. That’s very much a jealousy thing and I would have a talk with her about it. Don’t mention jealousy b/c that could cause bad feelings to be stired up. Just ask if she’s committed 100% or if she feels like she can’t handle the job.
6 months ago I had to be co-MOH’s for my best friend’s wedding because she actually was trying to prove some kind of bitter/retarded point. I’ve known her for 17 years and I had to share the post with a girl she’d known for 2 years. It almost broke my heart. It could have gotten messy but the other girl and I became great friends and in the end, the bride actually got a little jealous!
When I get married (which is coming sooner than I thought), I will be writing a letter to all of my attendents pre-applogizing for my mood swings and stress, but letting them know that if they can’t handle it, and help me through it (because they are my real friends) then they have every right to decline the position.
Good luck!